A few months ago when I created this website the only intention was to create a distraction from the monotony of the daily grind. Provide the reader with a few minutes light relief so to speak. However, I only managed to write one post before everything was turned upside down and the world as we knew it ceased.
Back then I was a regular worker for whom life was reassuringly reliable. Retirement was 13 years away and my biggest worry was – when that time came – what sort of stamps I should start collecting. Now six months later I suddenly find myself unemployed and in the age group least likely to ever get another job. So how on earth did that happen? How do I find myself ‘Resting between positions’?
I can’t remember exactly when Boris first told us we had to stay at home and not breath on anyone, but as soon as it happened I found myself working from home for three weeks. The highlight of this period was a trip into Aberdeen to collect some equipment armed only with a letter from my boss saying I was an essential worker. This was a vital document just in case I was challenged by a member of the armed response unit, demanding to know why I had not locked myself under the stairs while shoving the barrel of his weapon up my nose. I could brandish the document aggressively and hope the pages would stop any bullets from a trigger happy PC.
At this point I think it would be useful to clarify my former position within the world of work. I had been the IT trainer with the same firm for over 15 years. I knew lots of people and lots of stuff but as far as generating income went rarely did work for clients. This meant that in the eyes of some I was an un-necessary addition and in many ways disposable. I was always aware of my precarious position and I was surprised I lasted the full three weeks before I got put onto furlough.
Initially being paid to be at home seemed like a win-win to me and I seized the opportunity with both hands. I did the garden, repaired the house and went out on my mountain bike each day. I spent hours online learning new IT skills like how to customise SharePoint and things I just found interesting like what the rocket equation is. SpaceX – I’m here if needed!
I really like being busy and during this period I could be as busy as I liked! Up at 6am, do stuff until tea time and then do more stuff. Marvellous! The sun was out and it was a very productive period all round.
As the weeks turned into months the joy was replaced by boredom to a large degree. I ran out of things to plant and everything that didn’t require scaffolding was fixed. I got to the point I could climb 1,000 feet on my mountain bike then do 15 miles through the forest without really getting out of breath.
I decided to switch to long daily walks and give sensible eating a try, but after losing a stone and a half (21 lbs) in 7 weeks I got bored of that as well. Next I started practicing the classic french cooking skills I had used as a chef three decades ago. This was a very bad idea as I put all the weight back on and then some.
As boring as my furlough time was, my plight was nothing compared to that of my colleagues still toiling for the factory. Many shared their tales of woe, most of which related to bad treatment and the horrors of working from home. I shall not comment further on the former as I believe other authors have that covered, but working from home seems to have been bad for almost everyone.
Feeling isolated, disconnected and missing friends and colleagues has made it a miserable experience for most. Even the domestic manager – toiling away downstairs with the help of our new cat as I type – finds it both depressing and frustrating in equal measure.
Having observed from afar I believe the biggest problem with WFH is the passage of time. Everyone I have spoken to from partner to junior has commented how every day is exactly the same. It has no real beginning and no satisfying end, it just passes exactly the same each and every day.
Someone told me they only realise it is time to stop working each day when their wife wants them off the dining table so she can serve dinner. Sadly I cannot see this situation changing until after Christmas and probably not until the second half of next year. Lets hope the ‘experts’ that made this prediction have got it wrong!
Personally I was always sure I would be made redundant in the end and that’s is exactly what happened, but with a 12 week notice period and 15 years of redundancy there really was no need to panic.
Plus – and there is no way of ignoring this – I had stopped calling work the fun factory and started referring to it as just the factory some time ago. This meant that when the call came to tell me my time was up disappointment was accompanied by relief.
When I realised I was likely to leave the building I started to apply for new jobs. It had been around sixteen years since my last job interview so I felt this was of no importance. A man with my knowledge, experience, skills and drive, who could possibly say no? Everyone it seems, but I digress.
I set about the task with great enthusiasm. Hours were spent completing detailed application forms and writing awesome covering letters, plus my CV was honed so every word was a celebration of my very consciousness.
Next I had to consider – what sort of jobs should I apply for?
Even though I still had the enthusiasm of a teenager, retirement was a mere 13 years away. Not that this was of any relevance to me, but it meant I definitely wanted a job not a career. With this in mind I decided to take a three path approach to re-employment:
- apply for jobs in the area of IT training, highlighting I had many more skills and could also work in many other areas
- apply for jobs I had always wanted to do, such as postman, café worker, railway signalman, train dispatcher/general station person and supermarket shelf-stacker (or ‘Replenishment facilitation officer’ which I think is the official title), that sort of thing
- investigate starting my own company offering IT training to people and firms. Might as well put all that experience and knowledge to good use.
Let’s just say my initial enthusiasm at doing great things for another employer has been tempered by three things:
- the uncomfortable reality that there are many people all going for the same jobs
- that I am over qualified for many positions
- that I am old.
In addition I am clearly out of touch with the whole job application process. While looking at what to say about myself I discovered some people make extraordinary claims on their CV’s. The four that stuck in my mind are:
Well motivated self starter: surely being well motivated is a given or you would not be applying? And what is a self-starter? Do some people need jump leads in order to get out of bed in the morning? Well you live and learn!
Driven: what does that mean exactly? I always strive to do the best job I possibly can. Is that it? If not I am lost
Take a holistic approach: I have no idea what his tells the prospective employer unless they are applying for a job in a shop selling dreamcatchers and the like
As keen to give as receive: Are you referring to work, feedback, money? Or something else? Again I have no idea if this is a good or bad thing.
Sadly I have yet to see a job advert that reads:
Honest, Reliable person required to do IT training and look after all sorts of other things vaguely related.
The ideal candidate will be very enthusiastic and love new things.
They will be great at looking after the people who don’t get it first time and have the patience of a saint.
They will have oodles of experience and enjoy working under lots of under pressure.
They will be required to take responsibility for their tasks and enthusiastically do a bit of everything , even if the link to IT is extremely tenuous.
Confident and articulate they will take pride in their work and get satisfaction from a job well done.
They will NOT need regular fawning adulation from those around them.
They will be anal about organisation to the point people suspect they are a bit OCD
Plus an ability to win round the handful of negative party poopers that don’t like anything new to ensure they don’t get in the way of progress would be an advantage
Preference will be given to those over 50 and slightly overweight.
As the job market is a little ‘crowded’, I have decided the best option is to start my own business. I will never get a better opportunity and it will give me a chance to use all my knowledge and experience training people, as well as ensuring no two days are the same.
I am almost ready to go and hope to launch Murray Computer Training – Making IT Simple at the weekend. I’ll let you know how things go next month!
Murrays Musings 